Seminar Summary

Are you fooling yourself?.....

Seminar Summary

Date: 1/1/1995

Summary of What Does It Mean?

How We Interpret Situations, things, and People

Changing an erroneous "It means" belief.

See the Summary below.on Beliefs of Personal Identity for the process of correcting an erroneous belief. Use the first Step from there. Then proceed:

The second step is to ask yourself a question : "What else could it mean?" ----OR-- "Do I really know that is true?"
For example: "If my friend (or family member) wants to spend some time alone that means they don't enjoy being with me."
It might mean: .
They are under a lot of pressure and want some time to relax and recharge.
They have something on their mind and need time to think.
They may need a break from everyone, not specifically from me.

Then formulate a more accurate and useful belief---such as the three examples we just gave.

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Summary of What, Exactly, Can I Do?

Beliefs about personal capability

see the Summary below.on Beliefs of Personal Identity for the process of correcting an erroneous belief.

There is one significant addition with beliefs about capability:

With negative beliefs such as "I cannot do __"

and also with beliefs such as "I should do __", "I want to do___". "I would like to do ___"

a person can ask two questions which will help him to correct the belief and achieve his goal:

1) "What is preventing me from doing __"

2) What would happen if I did ___"

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Summary of "Who, Exactly, Am I?"

Beliefs about personal identity

Our belief about our identity can be accurate, exaggerated, understated, accurate but applied too rigidly.

The last category includes

Fixed: “This is how I am. I cannot change.”
Limiting: “I am always like this” or “I am never like this.”

To Identify, Evaluate, and Correct a Belief

Before you start, it is important to realize that we are all prone to making mistakes. As correct as my belief seems to me, it may not be completely correct.

First, If you notice some area of your life that is not working out as you would expect, ask yourself or a trusted friend "What belief may I be holding that might be contributing to this problem?" Identify the belief you have in that area.

Second, Look for counter-evidence. Challenge the belief. Ask questions such as : Are there situations in which I am not acting in accordance with this belief? Are there times when this belief may be inappropriate? is it always true? Never true? According to whom is this belief true? What specifically makes me say that I am this way?

Third, Formulate a belief that is more accurate and more useful. Take your time here! Ask yourself: What is actually true? What have I been exaggerating or overlooking? Think it through; perhaps discuss it with other people. Then, formulate a new, more accurate and useful belief.