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A lot of people would like to be more charismatic, but are a bit perplexed about how to go about it. I f you would like to be more charismatic, please read on....
What, exactly, is charisma? Is it something you are born with? Or, can it be acquired?
Before we explore the concept of what is charisma, it will be helpful to discuss what charisma is not....
Many people mistakenly think that charisma is something you have or don't have. The truth is that charisma is something you can develop in yourself.
Many people mistakenly think that charisma comes from techniques you do. The truth is that charisma is better described as a way of being and relating to other people.
Having said that, let's go into what you can do to make yourself more charismatic....
Tip #1: Surprise! True charisma begins with you being yourself. If you are not natural and genuine, then the following principles will probably not do much to make you more charismatic.
Let's understand this better... Politicians, film stars, sports heroes, entertainers, etc. may be glamorous. They may have a tremendous charm and appeal, but when you get close to these people you may be disappointed; they are not charismatic at all! In fact, they may be quite the opposite. What you had perceived as charisma may just be an image that they or the media created. And, being truly charismatic is not about building an image!
And lest you think that charisma is reserved for people who are good looking, consider the following... The late therapist Milton Erickson was a very successful therapist. His secret? Besides his experience and competence as a therapist, Erickson was very charismatic. He was not, however, particularly good looking. Crippled by polio in childhood, Erickson was in a wheelchair.
So, how do you "be yourself"? Many people find it difficult to be themselves; they are overly concerned with how others perceive them. We spend so little time by ourselves that we lose our connection with ourselves. The first step, then, is to reconnect with yourself. One simple exercise you can start with is to spend some time by yourself every day (yes, turn off your cellular phone!). Let your thoughts settle and then tune in to your thoughts and feelings.
Tip #2: Charismatic people blend
-----Being relaxed with
-----Being high energy (but not nervous)
At first these seem to be opposites, but, in fact, you can have both simultaneously. Here is a relatively easy NLP technique how you can do it.
First, think of a time you were very relaxed and then think of a time that you were very high energy. Don't do anything with these yet, just recall them.
Next, recall that time that you were very relaxed and let yourself fully associate to the memory by remembering what you saw...what you heard...and how you felt. Actually feel that relaxed feellng as much as you can. Hold on to that feeling.
Next, as you are holding on to the "relaxed" feeling, recall that time that you were very high energy and let yourself fully associate to the memory by remembering what you saw...what you heard...and how you felt. Be careful as you do this to hold on to the feeling of the relaxed memory so that you will be feeling both at the same time.
You are now feeling both feelings simultaneously. Notice how you feel.
In order to have access to this feeling whenever you want, do the following. First, give the feeling a name such as "relaxed and energetic". Second, practice the above exercise and as you feel that feeling say the name "relaxed and energetic". Repeat this several times. Then whenever you want to feel this way tell yourself "Now I want to feel relaxed and energetic". In NLP this type of technique is known as "Anchoring".
TO BE CONTINUED.....
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