NLP & GO

(C) 2025.  All rights reserved to Shlomo Kory,  Jerusalem,  Israel. 

 

The main part of this technique consists of 3 steps. Once you have mastered using the first 3 steps you can add the fourth step if you want.  Very often the fourth step is not even necessary.    

 

I suggest that you first read and understand each step.  Then practice each of these steps separately.  Finally ,  when you feel familiar with all 3 steps,  find a comfortable place to sit back and proceed by putting the steps together.

 

1) Breathing--  . Inhale gently through your nose,   hold your breath for 2 or 3 seconds  (do NOT strain yourself!) and release it gently through your mouth.  When you inhale,  fill up the lower part of your lungs first and then the upper part of your lungs. Do this at a moderate pace.  After taking a few breaths, begin the second step...

 

2) Peripheral Vision --  There are two kinds of Vision:  Peripheral and Foveal.  Foveal Vision is when you are concentrating on something such as looking at something, at a person, or reading something, etc.  

 

 Peripheral Vision means that you are aware of what is in front of you,  but not concentrating on anything in particular.  It is a way of disconnecting from the world.

 

To go into Peripheral vision,  look at a small spot several feet in front of you--For example,  at a light switch,  or a spot on the wall or on an object, etc.   Then,  as you  continue  looking  at it,  let your eyes relax , and let your scope of vision expand sideways to take in other things in front and to the side of you.  

 

As you do this.  continue the breathing described above. 

 

3) Thoughts and Self- Talk --While you continue doing these two steps ,  occupy your mind with a pleasant,  relaxing picture.  For example, the seashore, a forest, or  the mountains, etc.

 

While picturing this pleasant scene,  say or think to yourself " I am going to relax now"  or "I am going to relax and fall asleep now". Keep repeating this phrase  at a moderate pace and with a gentle voice tone.  

 

 [NOTE: Using the terminology "I am going to"  is usually more effective than saying "I want to "  or   "I have to".  "I am going to"  has a nuance of what you are planning to do whereas "I want to"  is more forceful.  "I have to " is even more forceful and can imply an inner conflict. 

When your goal is to relax,  forceful language is probably not going to be effective.   

The phrase "I would like to " is usually  too noncommittal and will probably not be effective either. 

However, sometimes these alternative ways of speaking can be effective for certain people. See what works best for you.] 

 

What do you do when an "unwanted" thought pops into your head (something you have to take care of, or anything that disturbs your ability to relax or fall asleep) ?   Typically the best way to  stop thinking about it is to say to yourself "I will think about that later.  Right now I am thinking thoughts that will help me to relax/fall asleep" .  Then go back to saying " i am going to relax..." etc. 

 

[By contrast,  if you would say " I don't want to think about that now"  the unwanted thought will usually stay in your thoughts.

To illustrate,  try this:  Notice what you are thinking about right now.   Tell yourself  "I will not think about a pink elephant--especially a pink elephant that is dancing."  Were you successful not thinking about a dancing pink elephant?!]

 

4) Additional Self -Talk -- When a person is active and busy, his mouth is ready to speak,  his arms and legs are ready to move.  Therefore,  to calm oneself down the following can also help.  

 

Say to yourself:  "I have no one I have  to talk to so I can just let my jaw relax". 

(You can check if it is relaxed by testing if you can move it from side to side and up and down with no resistance).

 

Then say to yourself,  " I have nothing I have to do now so I  can just let my arms relax" 

 

Then say to yourself " I have nowhere I have to go now so I can just let my legs relax" 

 

[NOTE:  The phrase "I can just let  my jaw/arms/legs relax "   is also a gentle way of giving yourself this suggestion and conducive to relaxing]

 

Combining all of the steps: Keep up the first two steps-- breathing and peripheral vision while cycling through the third and fourth steps over and over again.

 

What we have learned is the "textbook" version of this technique. The way the patterns are described here is what works for most people.    I suggest that you start using it as we have learned.  Once you have done it a few times,  you can make small adjustments in it  if you see that they work better for you personally.  For example,  some people might find that it works better for them to change the order of the Steps such as starting with the third step and then doing the first and second steps. Another example could be in step 1,  some people prefer breathing only through their nose or only through their mouth. A third example could be in steps 3 or 4,  changing the languaging as is mentioned there in the "NOTE". 

 

In other words... there are different ways to do the technique...I don't know which way you will choose...(how could I know?!)...I only know that you are going to choose a certain way... and, of course,  this way is a way that you feel is going to work well for you...and it is important for you to know that any way can be effective...therefore whatever way you choose... you can make it be effective for you... so just enjoy going through the steps...your way...over...and over....and over...until you begin to notice yourself feeling more and more relaxed...and then keep going through the steps until you feel as relaxed as you want to feel... now...